Exercise #11: Share the context

We like to believe we can keep things to ourselves. That we can compartmentalize, push through, or mask our frustration or stress without affecting the people around us. But the truth is, people are leaky.

If you’re holding tension—whether it’s from work, family, internal stress, or something harder to name—it doesn’t stay neatly contained. It spills out in tone, body language, eye contact (or lack of it), sighs, silences, and short replies. Your partner feels it. And if they don’t know what it’s about, they often assume it’s about them.

That’s when confusion and distance creep in. Your partner might think they did something wrong. They may brace, withdraw, or start asking questions from a place of insecurity. Now, instead of moving through your stress, you’re in a dynamic you didn’t mean to create.

The alternative? Share the context. Not a full emotional download or dramatic confession—just a soft letting in. Something as simple as: “I’m a little on edge after that meeting, so if I seem quiet, it’s not about you.” Or: “I didn’t sleep well and I’m grumpy—I’m trying not to let it spill onto you, but just in case it does, that’s what’s going on.”

These small moments of transparency build trust. They let your partner stand with you, not wonder about you. And they reduce the chance of misinterpretation, hurt, or disconnection.